the great barstoolio: Pardon Our Foobaw: Links & Thoughts V

STRANGE THAI FRUIT INSIGHT-FREE HASTILY DONE EDITION

Post-Game Observations
It's actually hard to observe anything when there's no video screen upon which to see replays. We roll old school (for now), and you will like it. What I can say about that game is that the Orange Bowl is heaven on earth with the climate of hell. It's exactly like being on the surface of the sun, but with rap and an ibis. The boys did not look so hot, but with college football going bum over noggin, we'll take a win, thanks - even if it did take a last-minute touchdown to be safe from the powerhouse that is...Duke. Look at our old hated rival Notre Dame! *points and laughs*

What looked good: Nine sacks! Miami's fourth in the nation on the season - behind Indiana, Michigan State, and Georgia Tech - who Miami faces week after this.

A poor week at practice led to the benching of Sam Shields, paving the way for Kayne Farquharson to start. Farquharson, who DIDN'T EVEN PLAY HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL - made quite an impression, with a giant leaping catch in the back of the end zone to score the first TD. But here's the real story: he played one season of Pop Warner, but never played any sport in high school because he was babysitting his sister while his mom worked nights. He was discovered in a church camp, sent to junior college in California, and later snuck onto the UM practice field to deliver a highlights tape to the receivers coach. Now Kayne's a Cane. Aw. Congratulations, baby.

Graig Cooper, who'd texted a 1:30am apology to Coach Shannon following his two fumbles against the Aggies, had his second 100+ yard game, held on to the ball, and was good for a TD.

Kyle Wright looked hot with stiches. I don't even know who I am anymore.

What looked seriously rough: The general malaise that seems to plague the team when playing blah opponents. The focus of the week in practice after the Texas A&M game was finishing strong, but the Canes seemingly forgot to show up in the middle, much to the flabbergastedness (I know) of those present. That got RILL scary, and it was evident against FIU and Marshall. Also, penalties. Ugh.

What They're Saying
Miami's ranked #26 and #27 in the major polls. Oh, and everyone loves Randy Shannon's quote from the post-practice press convo on Tuesday, when he said to pay no attention to that "blob stuff, that internet stuff you're reading," though no one - NO ONE - is going to laugh about it in front of him. He called the blog blob!

Behind The Scenes
Dwayne ''The Rock'' Johnson Locker Room. I ... Dwayne. ''The Rock'' Johnson. Locker. Room. I don't know what to say. Thank you for your money. Coach, you look very handsome and I can't believe you're actually smiling. I want to have your babies. Ladies, I... um, thanks again for your money. Are you sure you want your name over the door? Someone get me Warren Sapp.

In the photo above, Donna Shalala reminds me of this awesome fruit that Amy and I had a lot of fun with in Bangkok. It's called rambutan, and looks like little red hairy balls, and we made two great friends by leaving a half peeled pair of rambutan on our colleagues' doorstep with a note, knocking, and hiding. This was key, because these ladies kept massive amounts of cognac in their rooms and insisted that a glass be drunk every night for a month, for "our health." Anyway, tell me you can't see the resemblance:

Coming Up
An ACC match-up with North Carolina at noon Saturday on ESPN2. The Butch is back! Butch Davis, who coached the Hurricanes out of near-death and in six years, despite sanctions, had 'em from 5-6 to 12-1 and title-contending, is back in the NCAA at conference "rival" North Carolina. He was beloved by 'Canes fans everywhere, recruiting or coaching 28 NFL first-round draft picks, until he bailed for the NFL after insisting he was going nowhere. He left what might be the greatest college football team ever fielded to Grampa Coker, who somehow let the whole thing run into the ground (we still wanna sit on his lap, though). There's no player left with ties to Davis, but he will be coaching against a former player for the first time - Randy Shannon - as well as a former team. Let's kick his ass.

Patrick Nix is the Anti-Christ
He enjoyed a week off for A&M, but hooo boy, there was not a lot 'o flash on Saturday. The offense was zzzzzz. Back in the doghouse, Patty.

This Week's Hurricane Warning: Category Three
We seem capable of better than Two but nowhere near a Four due to being a rickety rollercoaster of inconsistency. Clearly this team's not quite together yet, though certainly they seem to be improving in many areas that gave them trouble against Okalahoma. North Carolina should be no problem, but ... they have to show up.